Say what you will about what he's been doing for the last 20 years, Michael Jackson's THRILLER shaped me...
Not only did I watch the very life out of my special edition VHS tape when I was a little kitty, but I also seem to recall making a play-by-play voice over on my boom box to go along with the THRILLER View Master set that I had. My audio accompaniment came complete with spooky narration, sound effects, and even a gentle reminder to change out the slides when appropriate.
At 3:15 pm today, the Los Angeles Times confirmed reports that Jackson had passed away from a heart attack after being rushed to hospital earlier this afternoon.
Michael Jackson truly lived his life as an ode to the unusual. I wonder if he plans on sharing a coffin with the Elephant Man's bones?
June 25, 2009
Michael Jackson Dead at 50
May 15, 2009
Arcanifacts: Ensanguined Tatters
In honour of my birthday (4/22), I received a very strange and unusual package from Karswell Manor...
My pulse quickened, and my blood ran ice cold when I first laid eyes upon this most curious artifact. Fashioned in the image of the Blessed Virgin, this vessel once contained Holy Water. Now, it holds the "Ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud." An inverted cross dangles above the blood-soaked cloth within; a warning that the vessel's seal is never to be broken, lest the wrath of Alucarda's lover be awakened once again from her undead slumber. The fragrant sealing wax barely masks the pungent stench of the grave, and the vessel radiates a strange energy I have never before encountered.
I daren't even ponder the fiendish secrets that linger within, hungrily awaiting release...
"Ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud."
After seeing photographs of the arcanifact Ryersson produced for Karswell based on Night of the Demon, I was excited to learn that THOIA's spooktacular host had commissioned one for me, as well. Eagerly I awaited my gift, knowing nothing about it other than the Alucarda theme, and that a portion of the piece had come from Guadalajara, Mexico.
The ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud now sit proudly beneath Alucarda's portrait, adding a touch more malevolence to my living room.
April 30, 2009
Conjuring the Sons of Black Mass
All of you lucky sinners living south of Kitty Central would have to be downright daft not to check out St. Louis rock demons, Sons of Black Mass, as they take to the stage after 10 long years of behind-the-scenes service to the Dark One.
The Unholy Masses are invited to gather at Firebird on Friday, May 1 @ 9:00 for a de-purification ritual. The ritual has been designed to prepare the victims -- I mean, guests -- for the Black Mass.
One final note: be sure to wish Punky (aka Karswell) a very happy Walpurgisnacht Birthday!
March 31, 2009
The Cat People [1953]
It has been confirmed: Harry Chapin was a devil worshipper who wrote Cat's in the Cradle to perpetuate an evil species of half-human beasts living in the wilds of Europe. If you don't believe me, have a gander at these pages from Black Magic No. 27 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, published way the heck back in 1953.
Meowny thanks to the ever-generous Mr. Karswell of The Horrors of it All for this vicious tale of fur-raising terror.
"It was like looking into a grotesque nursery...
Where evil children sang to the outer darkness,
and Cat's Cradle was the symbol of some nameless horror..."
March 25, 2009
Devil Master (aka The Demon Lover) [1977]
Caution: Spoilers Galore
"You are one, one with him whose name is unspeakable;
whose power is unimaginable. Rise!"
A guy (Christmas Robbins) doing a bloated impersonation of Metallica's James Hetfield uses the Powers of Hell to lure pretty, young virgins into his coven. His name, ironically enough, is Laval Blessing. He's a man who knows where he's going, and he'll have what he needs to get there. What blonde, beautiful, pure as the driven snow Pamela doesn't know is that what she refuses to give Laval will be brutally taken without her permission.
"There's nothing disgusting about it! Why are you so damn
hung up on the retarded morality of that world out there?"
Laval is losing control over his unruly coven, who seem to think that the meetings are more about booze and sex than about magick. They are unable to focus their energies. The unwilling virgin and her close-minded boyfriend are running amok, and causing dissention in the group. Laval mixes up a potion, says some magic words, and conjures a demon to seek revenge on the defectors.
Later that same night, Pamela awakens from a sound sleep, and is led into the woods by a powerful, supernatural force. After a considerable amount of time spent staggering around in the darkness clad in a near-sheer nightie, the young girl is clawed to pieces by a red-eyed beast with stragly hair, and massive talons.
"It's a dead body, Pete! Just like on TV!"
When the cops come sniffing around about the brutal slaying of the virginal Pamela, the coven members suspect their leader, Laval, may be involved somehow. After all, "he's real heavy into black magick." Rest assured, the plume-haired messiah and the plasticine demon he's conjured will make each one of them pay for their infidelities!
Detective Tom Frazetta (Tom Hutton) goes with his wife to a metaphysical group meeting in order to better inform himself on the topic of black magic and ritual murder, as he suspects that some weirdo who is into that kind of "hocus pocus" may be responsible for the vicious killings. Enter Professor Peckinpah (Gunnar Hansen), expert on all things strange and unusual (including, but not limited to, chainsaw massacres).
"I wanna know about these strange cults
with high priests, and black magic weirdos that
kill people in possible blood rituals."
Local police receive a tip from one of the ex coven members, the viewer is treated to a nauseating, back-and-forth exchange while Frazetta confronts Laval about Pamela's disappearance. It's painful, and not unlike watching a ping pong match!
After Laval finishes with the Detective, he heads to the local dojo to work on his karate. If the point of this segment was to show the antagonist's fighting prowess, the director has failed miserably. Laval lumbers through a set of movements with a number of sparring partners, until finally having his balls kicked in (literally!) by the sensai. Moments later, however, the hulking long-hair opens a bonus-size can of whoop ass on what appears to be an Ugly Convention. A very poorly choreographed, Royal Rumble-style bar fight ensues.
Hopped up on punchin', and bent on revenge, Laval sends his demon for the rest of the dumb broads that deserted his coven. The fuzzy-pawed devil interrupts an impromptu, girl-on-girl (on girl!) shaving cream fight/wrestling match, a scene which definitely takes top prize in the Most Inconvenient Satanic Slaying category.
One of the girls manages to temporarily escape while the demon is busy manually stimulating her friend, but she is later discovered by The Guys, all prepped for serving like a holiday ham. The stage is set. The stimulated girl, as she lay dying, uttered the name "Laval." The Guys decide to seek out the vengeful sorcerer at his "castle" in the woods. Detective Frazetta is on his way there, too.
Laval decides to mix it up a bit with respect to what he has in store for The Guys. Upon entering the castle, the men are driven mad by an unseen demon. Entranced, they begin stabbing themselves, stabbing one another, and there's even a crossbow thrown in for good measure. Cue Detective Frazetta!
Frazetta hauls his sweet, plaid slacks into the castle just as Laval's demon is laying waste to the last of the deserters. Proving that you can never trust a demon, the creature uses his conjurer as a human shield in an attempt to avoid the Detective's gunfire. Frazetta finally sinks a bullet, and then another, into the scaly chest of the rummage sale devil, and it evaporates into a convenient smoke screen.
Please don't let my lengthy, involved review of DEVIL MASTER fool you: it is not a good movie. It is, in fact, very, very, very bad. The writing is terrible, the direction even worse, and features what is quite possibly the worst cast of characters ever committed to film. Furthermore, it looks like it was put together by a blind man: think saturated, high-contrast colours, for that high school A/V project effect. Seriously, folks -- it's a terrible, awful, scab of a movie with virtually no redeeming qualities. I failed miserably in my first attempt at watching this monstrosity, and the second attempt took approximately 3 weeks' worth of concerted effort on my part.
So, was it worth it? Hells, yeah! But I'm a sucker for punishment...
"Joining an occult study group - me and my big ideas!"
Faux Frank Zappa
DEVIL MASTER Image Gallery on Kitty's Flickr
1/5 Kitty Skulls = Somebody should have turned the hose on this movie's parents!
Thanks to Karswell for delivering this diabolical dilly unto me!
