Ouija Cat, Ouija Cat

Morrissey made him do it!

Actually, Jack had a beef with Morris the Cat I - IIX,
and wanted to get them on the horn to sort it out.

Cauldron: Brewing Pure Canadian Metal

Cauldron Live @ BarNone
August 15, 2009
Kingston, Ontario

One of the coolest live metal shows I ever witnessed featured dueling guitarists who traded instruments in the midst of a face-melting riff. The band was Goat Horn, and their t-shirt design (comprised of a one-horned goat inside a pentagram) summed up the spirit of the band better than any rock reviewer ever could.

Fast-forwarding a couple of years: Goat Horn has split up, and bassist/lead vocalist Jason Decay is now touring with Cauldron, along with bandmates Ian Kilpatrick (guitar), and Chris Rites (drums, replacing Al Chambers, who is now playing with Toxic Holocaust).

So, how does Cauldron compare to Goat Horn? T-shirt designs aren't quite as cool, but the solos are better, even without the slick switch-up. The feathered mullets, snakeskin guitar inlay, and black-and-white high-top sneakers will have you convinced you just stepped into a time machine bound for 1985.

Dio rules!

Jucifer... Live.

Warning: This Show is NOT Suitable for Epileptics

The first time I saw Jucifer play, I was astounded. Going on the advice of a couple of friends who said I "had to" see them live, I conducted none of my own research, and therefore had no idea what to expect. I was completely unprepared. In retrospect, I should have taken along earplugs, sunglasses, and a sturdy chair to steady myself against.

Backed by a retina-dazzling light show, and a literal "wall of sound," Jucifer is comprised of lead vocalist/guitar virtuosa Amber Valentine, and psychopathic beat monger Edgar Livengood. At first glance, the pair appear to be almost certainly insane. Upon second glance, all suspicions are confirmed.

Their songs were brilliantly woven into one massive orchestral noise arrangement, thus sparing their audience the trouble of deciding how best to react to something so frightfully moving. Somehow, applause does not seem appropriate. Valentine and Livengood storm through their set, each of them completely lost in the gruelling performance. Guitar Girl Goddess Valentine twists, leaps, and writhes (in a dress and heels), while Livengood engages in a heated verbal exchange with an unseen antagonist as he beats his drum kit with his bare fists. Clearly, this is some wild, heavy shit.

Jucifer's performance is an art which eludes capture, as their studio recordings bear little resemblance to the live experience. As the Jucifer.com bio proclaims: "See them while you can still get close enough to be spit on." Just be sure to bring your earplugs. And sunglasses. And a sturdy chair to steady yourself against.

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Jucifer Live in North Carolina (January, 2009)

Happy Friday the 13th!

The Creepshow (November 26, 2008)

Canada's Premiere Psychobilly band, THE CREEPSHOW, brought their high-energy, low-filler act to town once again on November 26 @ Bar None in Kingston. The official band the Rue Morgue Festival Fear for two years running were fresh off a European tour, and re-acclimated themselves to the fretfully low temperatures in the Great White North by playing to a packed house of dedicated fans and followers.

While showering the crowd with product-placement gifts of Jägermeister t-shirts, pins, and stickers, they played a lineup of favourites from their acclaimed debut album, Sell Your Soul, as well as a collection of tunes from Run For Your Life, the follow-up album they released in September, 2008.

View more of THE CREEPSHOW on Kitty's Flickr

THE CREEPSHOW is touring extensively right now, so who knows? You may find them creepin' into a honkey tonk near you in the not-too-distant future!

"Take My Hand"
on YouTube

I Can Haz Michael Myers?

As irrelevant as it may be at this juncture, I decided to post this photograph, anyway.

Last weekend, my sister picked up several DVDs from one of our local trading posts, and among the selection was Rob Zombie's Halloween. I will probably never get around to posting my comments on this film, as I just don't know that I have the stomach for it. Regardless of the level of disappointment I felt inside while re-watching RZH (I caught it when it opened in theatres), I can't seem to rid my mind of the pasty-white face of William Shatner with a mess of scraggly, brown hair sewn on top.

I've got Michael Myers on the brain, bitches!

Most people don't know this, but he is actually much shorter in person than he appears on film.

Kitty with Miniature Michael Myers
Halloween, 2007

Isn't that the sweetest homemade raccoon costume you've ever seen? My tail was made from a crazy, fur hat I picked up at the Salvation Army (for $1), cut, and spray-painted. Truly, it was legend.

Heavy MTL Festival (2008)

I stood out in the blazing sun for two days, subsisting on a diet limited to beer and special herbs, and all I got was this not-so-lousy feeling that I had been reborn. I honestly can't think of a better place to have done those things than the grand, old city of Montreal.

Farewell, sweet lady. I will always remember the time we spent together this past weekend. Rest assured that I am (quite literally) counting the days until next summer, when we'll meet again for more Heavy MTL.

Peter Steele of Type O Negative still dyes 'em Black, Black, Black, Black No. 1.
I still love you, baby, which is why I want to recommend some MenScience Cream
for those liver spots on your arm.

I dumped a bunch more photos into a Flickr Album, including some shots of Mastodon, Priestess, Voivod, and lastly but not leastly, Iron Maiden (aka The Greatest Metal Band of All Time). Be warned: most of the Maiden shots came out looking more than a little like art prints, due to the fact that I had to use a night setting with a really low shutter speed.

Posing With Evil Genius (Geniuses? Genii?)

I had never really thought that my list of Brushes With Celebrity was all that impressive. Upon hunting all my souvenir photographs down individually, one by one, for uploading to my web-based photo dumping warehouse, I have concluded that I've actually done pretty well for myself. I am the only person I know who has hugged the lovely and talented Bill Moseley on two separate occasions. The fact that I don't really know all that many people doesn't detract from my sense of accomplishment in the least.

Okay, so I may have included a few photos of people who aren't exactly known to have evil leaking from their pores. Just because these folks have never portrayed a crazed, murderous psychopath doesn't make them bad people.

Bill Moseley posing with me at Chiller Con 13 (New Jersey, USA)



Bill Moseley posing with my sister and I at
Rue Morgue Festival of Fear 2004 (Toronto, Canada)



Sid Haig posing with me at Chiller Con 13



Kane Hodder posing with me at Chiller Con 13



Andrew Bryniarski posing with my sister and I at
Rue Morgue Festival of Fear 2005 After-Party (*drunk*)



A really sweet pic of Tony Todd drinkin' his drink at
Rue Morgue Festival of Fear 2005 After-Party



Tony Todd posing (and drinking!) with my sister and I,
and some other d00d who has not given permission to appear on
Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave



Doug Bradley at Rue Morgue Festival of Fear 2004
(we saw him *drunk* at the After-Party, but did not shutter-stalk him there)



Lloyd Kaufman and the Troma Team posing with my sister and I,
and some other d00d who has not given permission to appear on
Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave

(I love this pic -- it's one of my all-time favourites)



Clive Barker with Jovanka Vuckovic of Rue Morgue Magazine at
Rue Morgue Festival of Fear 2005 (I met him, shook his hand, but didn't
get a picture of our intimate moment. Damned batteries!)



Terry and Dean (David Lawrence and Paul Spence) from FUBAR
posing with me, and some other d00d who has not given permission to appear on
Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave

FUBAR isn't exactly a horror film, but that in no way interferes with its greatness.



Joey "Shithead" Keithley posing with me at his book signing at
Novel Idea (Kingston, Canada)



Joey "Shithead" Keithley performing with DOA at
Scherzo Pub (RIP) (Kingston, Canada)



Tickets to the Ministry concert I attended in 2007 (Ottawa, Canada).
Okay, so I didn't actually meet any of the band members, but I was front-row-center,
and Al Jourgensen totally looked at me. Sweet eye contact...