How prepared are you to handle a hostile zombie takeover? Can you ride a bicycle, lying on the floor, with your legs jacked up over your head? Could your hips, buns, belly, and thighs stand a little aerobicization? Have no fear, LINNEA QUIGLEY'S HORROR WORKOUT is here!!! The Scream Queen and Hardbody Extraordinaire woke up at the crack of 1990 to bring you this spookier, sexier version of the home fitness video. Whether you are looking to work your entire body, or merely your wrist, Linnea and her enthusiastic team of zombies and slumber party sluts are sure to get your heart rate up, and your blood pumping!
After opening with a steamy, pre-workout shower scene, the brassy blonde dons a pair of fishnet stockings, high-heeled boots, and a metal-plated bra n' panty set before getting down on all fours to communicate a little of her body language. The background music is terrible, but serves its purpose in getting a nice, little beat going for Ms. Q to gyrate to. For those who choose to participate in the activity, you'll know that you're doing it right when you get to the lingering ass shots!
Upon completion of her floor exercises, Linnea decides to go for a jog through the cemetary. When a gaggle of flabby zombies follows her home, she leads them in a poolside aerobic routine which is sure to whip them into shape! The terrible background music returns, but it's surprising how well the dilapidated freaks move to it!
Slumber Party Sluts Spread 4 U (YouTubeClip)
LINNEA QUIGLEY'S HORROR WORKOUT is not rocket science; it's a thinly-veiled excuse for one of the hottest bodies in horror to do what she does best: wear as little as possible in order to maintain her seat in the House of Scream Queens. Linnea's voiceovers are funny, but poorly-executed, and it's clear that she won't be successfully acting her way out of a wet paper bag any time soon, but all of this is really quite irrelevant. HORROR WORKOUT takes two prominent staples from my 1980s upbringing, and combines them in a way that is both fun and unique. And, when Linnea Quigley says "Jump!" the only appropriate response is "Let me get my lube!"
Unfortunately, I can't speak to the efficacy of the actual workout, as my metal-plated bra is in the shop.