Friday, September 25, 2009

The Pig is Dead: Susan Atkins Expires at 60

Manson Family member and murderess Susan Denise Atkins (aka Sadie Mae Glutz) succumbed to brain cancer late Thursday, September 24, 2009. Denied her last chance at parole on September 2, Atkins had been incarcerated longer than any other female in the state of California at the time of her passing. Although Susan was originally sentenced to death, her sentence was commuted to life in prison when the United States Supreme Court temporarily outlawed capital punishment in the 1970's.

Sadie Mae Glutz claimed to have found redemption in Christianity. With the help of her husband, attorney James Whitehouse, Atkins recited religious verse at her September, 2009 parole hearing. In spite of her best efforts to appear remorseful, reformed, Atkins remained one of the world's most hated women. Appearing before a parole board in 2000, she stated: "I don't have to just make amends to the victims and families, I have to make amends to society. I sinned against God and everything this country stands for." Her last publicly-spoken words before her death: "My God is an amazing God."

Unfortunately, God must have been on vacation when Atkins and other Manson Family cronies brutally murdered actress Sharon Tate and her unborn son Paul Polanski, along with Jay Sebring, Abigail Folger, Voityck Frykowsky, Steven Parent, Leno LaBianca, Rosemary LaBianca, and Gary Hinman.

"I don't know how many times I stabbed (Tate),
and I don't know why I stabbed her.
She kept begging and pleading,
and begging and pleading,
and I got sick of listening to it, so I stabbed her."

was born on May 7, 1948 in Los Angeles. The runaway teenager met Charles Manson while living in a commune in the Haight Ashbury district. Manson re-named her Sadie Mae Glutz, and helped deliver her baby after she became pregnant by one of the other "family" members. He named the child (a boy) Zezozose Zadfrack. To date, the child's whereabouts are unknown.

Since her incarceration, Atkins married twice: once to an eccentric Texas millionaire, and then to Whitehouse, who, in spite of his obvious mental issues, graduated from the ultra-prestigious Harvard Law School. Before Atkins died, Whitehouse served as one of her attorneys.

Rest in pieces, Susan (one of her legs was amputated for medical reasons -- did I forget to mention that?). I hope your brain cancer was delicious!

Susan Atkins with her husband at September, 2009 parole hearing

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ouija Cat, Ouija Cat

Morrissey made him do it!

Actually, Jack had a beef with Morris the Cat I - IIX,
and wanted to get them on the horn to sort it out.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Soylent White

Soylent White is... delicious!!! Oh, and it may or may not also be made out of people.

To make your own Soylent White, you need to get out your instructions for making Pina Coladas. Or, you can follow these handy directions here:

  • Pour 1 cup of Pina Colada mix (I used Mr. & Mrs. T, but I'm sure they are all pretty much the same) into a blender.

  • Add 1-2 cups of ice (depending upon how much of a "slushy" mood you happen to be in) to the very same blender.

  • Add 2-4 ounces of white rum (I like Bacardi, probably because of their cool bat logo) to the coconutty/icy mixture.

  • Blendus maximus.

Now, you have yourself a fine Pina Colada. But we're not making Pina Coladas. We're making Soylent White.

To complete the recipe for Soylent White, you simply need to:

  • Add people.

  • Pour into a fun glass that looks like it could be easily tipped over.

  • Enjoy!

Oh, and here's some further information about that other
concoction you may have heard of.
I think they're calling it Soylent Green?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ouija Board, Ouija Board

Ouija board, would you work for me?
I have got to say hello to an old friend

Ouija board, ouija board, ouija board
Would you work for me?
I have got to get through to a good friend
Well, she has now gone from this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores and the destructors of it

Ouija board, ouija board, ouija board
Would you help me?
Because I still do feel so horribly lonely

Would you, ouija board?
Would you, ouija board?
Would you help me?
And I just can't find my place in this world

She has now gone from this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores
And the destructors of it

Oh hear my voice
Oh hear my voice
Hear my voice
Hear my voice
The table is rumbling
The table is rumbling
The glass is moving
No, I was not pushing that time
It spells : S.T.E.V.E.N.

The table is rumbling
The glass is moving
No, I was not pushing that time
P.U.S.H.O. double F.

Well, she has now gone
From this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores
And the destructors of it

Morrissey's Ouija Board, Ouija Board

Neil Gaiman's Coraline

As is often the case, the book was far superior to the movie. While brilliantly animated (and presented in 3-D), Director Henry Selick's 2009 release of Coraline failed to capture the essence of the masterfully-crafted story by Neil Gaiman. In spite of the valiant efforts of powerkid Dakota Fanning, and the "Desperate" Teri Hatcher, the film fell flat for me, even before I had something to compare it to.

While Selick's screenplay left me feeling as though adults had toiled feverishly in order to appeal to a child-like perspective, Gaiman's original work effortlessly transported me to a sacred place of wonder and amazement, often only inhabited by the very young and imaginative. In my humble opinion, there is almost nothing worse than grown-ups who bend over backward in order to appear "cool" to the younger generation. Either you're cool or you aren't -- and if you aren't, no amount of research on playground lingo can help you. Fortunately for all the readers out there, young and not-so-young, Neil Gaiman is incredibly cool.

Neil Gaiman
is also incredibly English. Although he now lives in the United States, much of his work is full of delicious British colloquialisms, and overall, bears a decidedly English flavour. When I read his work, I imagine everyone speaking like Oliver Twist, even before I've been instructed by the author to do so. Unfortunately, none of this flavour comes through in the motion picture, as the production was highly Americanized in order to appeal to wallets of the west. Teri Hatcher couldn't have produced a believable British accent if her parents were Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher!

Interspersed throughout the book's 162 pages is a collection of illustrations by Dave McKean. The drawings are not what one would normally expect to find within a children's book, which is much of what makes them so incredible. Rendered in a ragged, sketchy style, many of the images are downright frightening -- perfect accompaniments to Gaiman's enchanting tale of secret doors, lost children, and a fearsomely-wicked woman. One thousand heartfelt thank-you's to Karswell for gifting me with this delightfully-quirky book!

"We are small but we are many
We are many we are small

We were here before you rose

We will be here when you fall..."

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Stalking Doom (1954)

When Derek Layne's wealthy aunt Clara cuts him off for being a booze-swilling disappointment, the young actor decides to speed up the old woman's death clock and cash in on the inheritance she has promised him. What Derek fails to factor into his murderous plan is the spinster's cat, Saki, who is sworn to protect her mistress -- even from beyond the grave!

This purrrfect paralyzer, courtesy of the Karswell longboxes, comes from Amazing Ghost Stories #15, published in December, 1954. Be sure to savour the surprise ending! Rock!

Wherever Derek turns, the cat's blazing eyes haunt him...
He knows Saki is stalking him...

Awaiting the moment of revenge...